Well although I am feeling a little bit better than I did earlier and I am trying not to cry so much I am still really well blah I guess is a good word for it. I'd like to say after all these years I could handle whatever is thrown at me. Yet I discover each day thet being strong isn't the greatest thing in the world. I can be strong for others when the situation calls for it. I can be strong for my kids no matter what the problem. Yet I can't seem to be strong for me. Is there some kind of trick to being able to not care? Is there a way to turn off all feelings and say fine walk on me and I won't care? Is there a way to stop emotions? Now your all wondering what the issue is but its several all bothering me at once. I wish some days I could stop loving, stop feeling with my heart and stop caring what others think or say but that isn't going to happen. So any clues as to how I just shut down and still continue to function?
In other news I did make it to the store. Of course that was amusing if nothing else. As I was checking out the cashier asked me if I knew I had nine 12 packs of drinks. Well why this was a big deal I don't know but she sure seemed stunned by it. I guess she was new cause surely I am not the only one to ever buy that much pop at one time.
Well I have really got into these three RPG games I was invited to try. They are alot of fun and at least there I can control my destiny. lol I am used to playing card games but these are more fun and ever challanging.
Well yall have a good night!